Monkey farming snakes

Have you ever found yourself watching a movie on TV only to notice that all the foul language has been dubbed with family friendly phrases instead? What I am I thinking? Of course you have.

Take for instance the major motion picture Problem Child Two starring John Ritter and child actor Michael Oliver.

In one scene all of the single ladies in the neighborhood keep bringing Ritter's character Ben and his adopted son Junior baked goods and casseroles as a "friendly gesture." When one of the women comes back to get her pie dish Junior says to her "Your pie gave us the runs." In the TV edit the line is changed to "Your pie gave us the gas."

Gotta love censorship! Here are some other fun edits for TV:

Movie trailers.

Editing happens in more than just the writing medium. Take for instance a movie trailer.

The recently released movie Catfish is a documentary about a photographer Nev and a relationship he develops with a family over Facebook. One day an 8-year old girl (Abby) sends Nev painting of one of his photographs and the two begin sending messages back an forth via Facebook.

Nev eventually begins to "meet" Abby's family and begins an online romance with Abby's 19 year old sister Megan. Nev starts noticing some inconsistencies in his communication with Abby, Megan and the rest of the family. He and his friends (who are filming the budding phone/internet relationship) drive cross country to meet Megan.

***Spoiler Alert***

Not everything is as it seems.

When I initially watched the trailer I felt as if this documentary suddenly warped into a psychological thriller or perhaps a horror movie. I don't want to give away the ending but I will say the trailer gave me expectations of what the film is only to have it turn out to be something else.

That said, what is the point of a movie trailer? Is it to give the potential viewer an idea of what happens in the movie, attract him or her to the theatre because it looks like something they want to watch for a couple hours? Is it fair to mislead them into thinking it is something different than what it truly is?

When is it ok?

I have always been apprehensive in using profanity... in writing. The same doesn't apply for verbal communication. 


There are times I find that using profanity is, well, profane. Swearing for the sake of swearing. 


David Keuck said it best: "Profanity is the crutch of the conversational cripple."


But, there are times that it just feels so necessary like there are no other words in the English language to convey my emotion. 


Mark Twain: "Profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."


I write another blog about living off of my tips as a server. My mom reads it and tells me everyday that I need to clean up my language. Ever since I was a child she's told me, as her mother has told her, the only appropriate time to swear is when you stub your toe. 


I told my mom that I use profanity in place of writing about my intervenes drug use and unprotected sex. She didn't think that was as funny as I did. 


So when is swearing ok? I think it is up to the discretion of the writer and the editor. 


In news stories, swearing is permitted in quotes but "not wanted in the news report," according to the CP Stylebook. The obscenity has to have a purpose. "Always consider other ways of getting across this element of the story before resorting to the use of obscenities."(CP Stylebook)

Is it or isn't it?

Do you ever find yourself cringing when someone uses the the phrase "I seen..." as in "I seen that on TV." Or, how about when someone says "dethawed" as in "I took the meat out of the freezer to dethaw it."


Nails on a chalkboard right? If you don't think so, then you're probably the person who says those things.


I seen? Nope. I saw or I have seen.


Dethawed? Nope. Just thawed.


There is one word that gets me every time. One word I find particularly annoying:


Irregardless.


Irregardless? Nope. Regardless.


For the longest time I thought it wasn't even a word but then I got confused when I came across the website www.irregardless.org.


The site that claims 'your teacher lied to you' says there is, in fact, a word.


What?


I needed to investigate further.


Dictionary.com says it is a nonstandard word as does Merriam-webster.com. So does this mean irregular is a word?


Spellcheck says no. Caps and Spelling says no. And my trusty hardcover Gage Canadian Dictionary I've had since 1995 says no.


I say no.